Just arrived in Saigon after 3 years of flying, but not without a few bad omens along the way.
1st: Mysteriously lost my driver's license right before my plane. If anyone sees a license with a handsome devil on the front who is legally able to drive class C vehicles, give it to my sister or something.
2nd: Saw Greg Oden at the airport. Usually that would be pretty cool, but that fucker is still limping. Trade him for Sergio Rodriguez back.
3rd: Ripped black guy wearing Abercrombie and a du rag on my flight to Taiwan. That is like a black cat smashing a mirror with an open umbrella under some stairs. Firmly entrenched in the Bizarro realm.
4th: A not insignificant number of passengers wearing those SARS/Swine Flu masks. Do they know something I don't? Alert level code orange.
5th: CODE RED. CODE RED. In a plane full of Asians, I sat down next to a Mormon missionary. Imagine one of those biker missionaries knocking on your door trying to convert you, and every time you politely told them to shut the fuck up they kept on knocking again and you had to listen. Now imagine this was at 2:30 in the morning. For 14 hours. It must have been karma for that one time I accidentally used the disabled stall when a guy in a wheel-chair had just entered the bathroom.
6th: Some sketchass literally walked out of the airplane bathroom with shitstained toilet paper hanging off the end of his pants. It dropped conveniently right in front of my seat. Before I could even react, a steward came running to pick it up and thought it was mine, giving me a world class death stare. A truly horrific experience that was so surreal I still don't fully comprehend what happened. I didn't even defend myself.
A very weird and long journey just to get here that does not bode well. Whoever said the journey is more important than the destination never flew on a cross oceanic flight. Anyway I am alive, which is something. Now... time to get my bearings straight and do some exploration.
1st: Mysteriously lost my driver's license right before my plane. If anyone sees a license with a handsome devil on the front who is legally able to drive class C vehicles, give it to my sister or something.
2nd: Saw Greg Oden at the airport. Usually that would be pretty cool, but that fucker is still limping. Trade him for Sergio Rodriguez back.
3rd: Ripped black guy wearing Abercrombie and a du rag on my flight to Taiwan. That is like a black cat smashing a mirror with an open umbrella under some stairs. Firmly entrenched in the Bizarro realm.
4th: A not insignificant number of passengers wearing those SARS/Swine Flu masks. Do they know something I don't? Alert level code orange.
5th: CODE RED. CODE RED. In a plane full of Asians, I sat down next to a Mormon missionary. Imagine one of those biker missionaries knocking on your door trying to convert you, and every time you politely told them to shut the fuck up they kept on knocking again and you had to listen. Now imagine this was at 2:30 in the morning. For 14 hours. It must have been karma for that one time I accidentally used the disabled stall when a guy in a wheel-chair had just entered the bathroom.
6th: Some sketchass literally walked out of the airplane bathroom with shitstained toilet paper hanging off the end of his pants. It dropped conveniently right in front of my seat. Before I could even react, a steward came running to pick it up and thought it was mine, giving me a world class death stare. A truly horrific experience that was so surreal I still don't fully comprehend what happened. I didn't even defend myself.
A very weird and long journey just to get here that does not bode well. Whoever said the journey is more important than the destination never flew on a cross oceanic flight. Anyway I am alive, which is something. Now... time to get my bearings straight and do some exploration.
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