Thursday, July 8, 2010

Do you know why they call us Orientals?

Because we get oriented to new situations very fast. Or maybe it was because we always maintain our directional orientation and never get lost. I remember hearing Bill Nye the Science Guy say something along those lines. Either way, what I mean to say is, it feels like I've been here a long time even though its only been a week. The first couple days I was like Miley Cyrus touching down at LAX; everyone was wearing stilettos and I did not get the memo. A few days later and on came the Jay Z song.

When I first got on a xe om I put one hand on the guy's shoulder for stability, like I was a junior member of the Portland All-Boys Youth Choir. He didn't say anything, but if eyes could be homophobic, I am pretty sure his had just called me a 'gayass'. So instead I turned to my alternative, which was to have a double-handed death grip on the rear handle. Now, I am high-fiving grandmas with my left hand and making animal balloons with my right, while in the Proud Warrior yoga pose.

Actually nothing I just said makes any sense, here are some pictures:


Blue Mountains = Cold Beer.


Perceptive individuals may notice that there is a Pho Restaurant in Beaverton with the exact same name and logo. There are four scenarios here:
A. ) Very common name, and generic picture taken off the internet
B. ) The same family runs both restaurants
C. ) Either owner must have googled the name of his restaurant, saw that logo, and stole it
D. ) The disgruntled second sibling who did not inherit the restaurant stole the recipe, name, and logo and fled to America.

Ho Chi Minh quote in the Ho Chi Minh Museum. Thought it was interesting enough to take a picture of.

Hard to read but the name of this place is called Texas BBQ. The owner is a Vietnamese guy who used to live in Texas, changed his name to Wayne McCoy, moved back to Vietnam and opened up this joint. A bunch of Texas stuff all over. When I saw it my curiosity got the best of me, but it was actually pretty good.

View of the city from the window of my classroom. A picture from the other side of the building would look very different.


In other news, I am being eaten alive by mosquitoes. They are quickly making the case to supplant Edward Cullen as my most hated blood sucking creature. I've only managed to see about three since I've been here, but somehow they are able to bite me even under my clothes, around the clock. Its not even like they are doing this to survive; I can sense their hatred. What they are doing is malicious, and defies all the Laws of Nature.

On the teaching front, things are going much better. Spain defeated Germany, so one of my male students has to do an interpretive belly dance. I gave him the option of doing a 5 minute dance for my class, or a 1 minute dance for the entire floor. Regardless of what he chooses, I already told all the other teachers to bring their students in. The level of comfort and such seems to be increasing too, as more and more students are participating and speaking up. The main instructor, Phuong, also arrived which makes things a lot easier for me. I spent the first two days talking mad shit about California, which is where she is from, so now shes trying her hardest to turn the class on me. Yesterday a student (jokingly I think, but one can never quite tell) told me if she had a million dollars she would build a mental hospital and put me in it.

The housing front has seen mixed results. The original hostel I was staying at temporarily was pretty awesome, but too expensive so I moved down the street to one half the price. I won't name any names ( Hotel 96, 96 Bui Vien St. District 1), but there is a reason this place is cheaper. The friendly, family staff at Madam Cuc's place was replaced by the real life lady who the Matchmaker character from Mulan must have been based on. She was an exact replica in appearance and temperament, and seemed pissed off that I even considered staying at her place. As I was moving all my things into my new room, I almost think I heard her whisper under her breath that I would "never bring my family honor." There are some other minor problems that I am just being picky about, like not having hot water (which isn't that big of a deal because its so hot), but I've only got one day left here so everything is chill. Tomorrow I move into an apartment for the remainder of the summer. I'll have some videos or pictures of that hopefully soon.

Things are starting to move a lot faster, and there are still a lot of things I havn't talked about. yet that I want to talk about. I'll try to do my best to keep on top of things but, we'll see how it all works out.

P.S. As annoying and absolutely ridiculous as Lebron having an ESPN hour long special to tell us where he is playing is (yes I even heard about that here), he probably made the right choice.


2 comments:

  1. You must be high! Or is that me? Well, I love your writing and am glad you're tracking it on a blog. You make me laugh hard and come onnnnn, seriously where have you been storing this stuff? And how come I never heard this genius talk before? We're familia ya know!
    I got everything you said-metaphorically and visually!
    Cousan Melissa

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  2. haha thanks Melissa

    And I think its because our family gatherings usually aren't the most appropriate place for me to say things similar to how/what I am writing about here haha

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