Beaches, Buddhas, and Beer Part II/III: Ta Cu Mountain

Mui Ne

Although Mui Ne is one of the more developed and crowded beaches in Viet Nam, it still is quite beautiful and cleaner than most beaches that are comparatively populated. I forgot to take any pictures, and aside from almost killing Minh a view times via Jet Ski it was just a typical relaxing day at the beach so I'm going to skip straight to Ta Cu Mountain.

Ta Cu Mountain

Somewhere at the top lurks a large Buddha statue that has no business being at the top of a mountain.

When I first heard the word "Ta Cu" I thought of tacos, which I am sorely missing. If you think you know a better taco truck in Eugene than Ernesto's truck off of Franklin, I'm going to do my best Kanye impression and say Imma let you finish but Ernesto has some of the best tacos of all time.

Anyway I had no idea what to expect. I figured it was going to be a cheesy tourist trap with a short, paved trip to the top. Although its child's play compared to anything what a mountain climber would tackle, it proved to be a decently steep and slippery hike that definitely kicked my ass by the time I made it to the top. I was huffing and puffing the majority of the few hours it took to reach the temple complex, and I had thoroughly sweated through my jeans and two shirts. Seriously, I don't remember sweating that hard since I wrestled in high school and had to cut water weight by working out in a sauna.

Entrance into the Belly of the Beast

Base Camp

No more incline near the top, going to the other side

Our original group of 14 people broke up into many pieces over the course of the climb. We were the first 5, finally making it to the base of the temple complex. Seriously, I may look douchey trying to look like a hardass right now, but the real case is that I was so tired and dehydrated I was just staring off into space the last 30 minutes of the hike.

One last staircase...

Very Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-esque. If you were wondering if a giant Monk vs. Hiker Kung Fu battle exploded here, the answer is yes.

So we finally reach the top and you may be thinking to yourself, "where the hell is this giant Buddha statue?". Hold on, we'll get there. First, we had to refresh ourselves with some classic monk-approved vegetarian instant noodles. Secondly, an army of little baby monks came out of no where and of course a photoshoot ensued. They were ridiculously cute, and I didn't mind about the fact that we looked like a living Angelina-Jolie-holding-an-African-child-in-US-Weekly type of picture. Judge for yourself:

Pretty sure Angelina Jolie has this EXACT picture. Only with African children, of course.

If you are the type that hates cute children and loves large sculptures of major world religious figures, hold on. Big Daddy is coming. Only after I replenished my body with fluids and sustenance did I remember my purpose for climbing this slippery, muggy bitch of a mountain. Turns out there were a few more sets of stairs passed the main temple building that lead to a series of statues and eventually to His Reclined Holiness himself. I say reclined because, well you'll see.

Very Lord of the Rings. I heard "You Shall Not PASS" in a FOB voice in my head and chuckled to myself.

According to Minh, this is also one of the characters from the famous Chinese Epic "A Journey West"

I just realized I failed hard and this was the only picture I took of the reclined Buddha. It is kind of cheating because the 49 meters that were advertised is horizontal, but this statue was still ridiculously large. Especially considering its location and what not.

I think I enjoyed the mountain much more than the beach. As beautiful as it was, you can find beaches anywhere. An experience like this though, is what I had in mind when the possibility of spending the summer in Viet Nam became apparent. After we got back from the mountain, we all set up camp at the Wink's house, a former student of mine (described in a previous blog entry) who's hometown is Phan Thiet.

Residence of the Wink and the Art of Nhau

Actually it is now The Wink, Attorney at Law now that he has passed his recent law exams. Anyway his family's house is half law office/half rest stop. Basically, the perfect place to feast and get sloppily drunk, or to nhau. Before the waves of beer however, there first came waves of seafood. His family graciously provided us with bucket-fulls (quite literally) of fresh seafood that we were able to grill in front of us.

Now, the Drinking. Remember this was a rest stop, a sort of 7-11 meets cafe type of deal, so there was an abundance of beer in storage. We would spend the next few hours attempting to eradicate the entire supply. When Vietnamese people drink, they start off by clanging the glasses together and chanting a hearty "một, hai, ba... Yo/Zo!", which roughly translates to One, Two, Three, In! After the first session, basically any time an assclown starts counting loudly everyone at the table has to join in and drink more. If you sit out, you quickly become the victim of vicious middle school style peer pressure and jeers. For this particular night, I was that assclown.

Once many beers get knocked out, the drinking songs make an appearance. The one I remember from that night is,

"Lâu lâu lâu thì ta mới nhậu một lần
Lâu lâu lâu thì ta mới nhậu một lần
Nhậu một lần ta uống cho say
Nhậu một lần ta uống..cho say!!!!!!
...
Bao nhiêu đây thì đâu có nhằm nhò gì!
Bao nhiêu đây thì đâu có nhằm nhò gì!
Ngồi trong bàn không uống ai coi,
Ngồi trong bàn không uống..ai coi!!"

Really roughly, it means you are drinking after a long time, but when you do drink you have to drink to get schwasted. The second stanza is saying the amount of alcohol consumed/present already is not enough, and if you are sitting at the table and not drinking no one gives a shit about you. In other words, this is the best song of all time.

At some point, I decided it was my duty as an educator to introduce the American custom of shotgunning a beer. Predictably comical results.




OK now look at that second picture closely. Stop taking notes on my perfect form and technique, and concentrate on Minh. Keep in mind he is an American and has spent 4 years at UCLA. Now, look at where all the beer from his can is directed. We did not know it at the time, but Minh was sloshed beyond all recognition at this point. Further evidence:



There are people who go around by bike selling candy and treats. They also have a amped up microphone, in which they sing into to attract attention. Now you may be thinking that this sounds like the most To Catch a Predator business model you've ever heard of, but its quite normal here. Anyway, this particular salesman sees our large group and pedals up. Minh takes his microphone and hilarity ensues. It might not be as funny if you don't understand Vietnamese or if you don't know the people involved, but here it is anyway. Sorry Minh.

But to embarrass someone else so Minh doesn't feel left out, here is a video of one of our students who has just figured out Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are the same person. Tom, his American name, is easily the biggest guy in our group. However his top three likes include the Disney Channel, 3D animated cartoons, and Lady GaGa/top 40 pop music.




And here are some random government sponsored billboards around Phan Thiet that I thought were interesting.




Be Cool, Wrap Your Tool.